Review: Haunted Carwash takes you on a joy ride to hell

The concept of a drive-through haunted attraction predates 2020, but the Covid-19 pandemic certainly created a market for frightful entertainment that avoided sharing the same airspace. Thus, we got Haunted Carwash, which keeps its victims safely ensconced in their vehicles while menacing monsters mill outside, eagerly awaiting the next opportunity to deliver scares. Now that we are safely vaccinated and able to meet monsters face-to-face, is the carwash concept still valid?

Only if you like taking a joy ride into Hell!

The format is more than effective enough to justify its post-pandemic existence. Ironically, the “safety” of being locked inside your car creates its own form of terror, enhanced by the necessarily slow pace of cars moving through the facility. Costumed characters leer through windows and attempt to open doors; each attacker engages at length with their victims. In a way it is like a mini-version of a haunted hayride: you see approaching threats, but you cannot swerve or stop to avoid them; you must endure their attention for as long as they enjoy menacing you.

Haunted Carwash Review: Splash N Go Express Car Wash

Haunted Carwash operates at multiple locations, though participating carwashes may change from year to year. For Halloween 2025, we drove to Splash N Go Express Car Wash in Montclair, making its debut as part of the Haunted Carwash team. The experience at other locations may vary in some details, but the format remains the same.

Seeing the letters “Haunted Carwash” projected on the side of our destination, we pulled up to an entrance sign on the sidewalk, where an assistant checked that we had arrived during out appointed time slot. She then advised off to turn off our headlights as soon as we entered, but we weren’t sure whether she meant “enter the carwash” or “enter the driveway,” which is where the first half of the experience took place. Ultimately, it made little difference; the scares came all the same.

Shrouds of fog rolled toward us, shrouding but not concealing at least two evil clowns awaiting our arrival. We’re not quite sure why there are clowns at a car wash, but their malicious mirth certainly played well: they waved weapons and pressed up against the windows, mocking our fear, as we tried to negotiate a path to safety around them. Just for the fun of it, we rolled the windows down, and the clowns took full advantage, leaning inside, leering at us, and honking the horn.

Moving through the fog, more characters appeared: a ghost, a beast, etc. Each one blocked our path or coaxed us into slowing so they could reach inside a window or try to open the doors. (What would have happened if they had been unlocked?) Eventually, someone directed us onto the track that pulls cars through the carwash, and then we moved onto an even scarier experience. The attacks were more spaced out (because of logistics), but that hardly mattered. With the windows covered in suds, and vision further blocked by mechanical devices scrubbing and drying our vehicle, it was impossible to see where the monsters were lurking. Thus hidden, they were free to sneak up unexpectedly, suddenly shouting a threat or swinging an axe.

It might not sound like much, but the limited visibility and the oppressive whir of machinery combined to create a shivery claustrophobic horror unlike anything else. When it was over, our only regret was that there was no way to thank the team at Splash N Go Express. With no parking lot, we could only pull onto the street and drive away.

Haunted Carwash Review: Conclusion

With small, stand-alone haunts few and far between these days, Haunted Carwash offers an affordable local option for enjoying Halloween thrills. Obviously, it’s different from a traditional haunt, but those differences make it more enjoyable than walking through yet another funhouse attraction. Among other things, being trapped in a moving metal box with two or three friends turbocharges the terror, and you might even be able to coax some of your timid friends into taking a chance on this drive-through hell.

The only thing Haunted Carwash is missing is a complaint department where you can tell the axe-wielding murderer, “Hey, you missed a spot!”

Haunted Carwash at Splash N GO Express Photo Gallery